Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
