I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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