I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
