You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
