We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
