Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I party with great urgency now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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