Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
