And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
