I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize