so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
