Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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