lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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