Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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