Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
