ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I want to be your penis for a week.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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