you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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