All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
