Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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