if you like me you must not know who I am
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
