I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize