someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
