when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I supernannyed him into submission
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
