You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize