So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
