New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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