32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
