can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
handjob tips. give me some.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
