Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
