I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You're so nebulous sometimes
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
