My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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