i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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