none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you never un-have a 4some
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
