Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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