You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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