i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
