shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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