well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He kissed a someone with a penis
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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