She announced her abortion via fbk
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Randomize
