She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
