No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
