Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
