Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize