...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
