i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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