hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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