wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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