first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
