Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
