from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
