just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
