if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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