he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
