So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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