i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
