I faked an abortion last night.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
