so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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