Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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