why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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