Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
